Don't believe the lies!

Last night I was exposed to a revisionist lie.  My wife, whom I love and trust, looked at me during the course of editing something and said, “You shouldn’t use Oxford commas! It’s not proper!”  Now, as I’ve mentioned before, I don’t claim to be a grammar expert but I did pay attention in elementary school so I know that an Oxford comma is the way of the world. After discussing this for a few minutes, I found out that people are actually being taught that you shouldn’t use this magnificent punctuation because “It’s not proper anymore. It’s unnecessary.” In order to preserve my childhood, find out who lied to my wife, and defend the truth itself, I decided to do some research on the topic to find out what is really going on here.

If you don’t know what an Oxford comma is (also called a serial comma), it is the comma before the final conjunction in a series of items. Here is an example:

            “I went to the store to buy eggs, milk, and cheese.” (Oxford comma in bold)

Now I admit that in this example the second comma is not needed. But lets look at another one:

With:

“Last summer I went on a trip where I encountered two priests, a skateboarder, and an alcoholic.”

Without:

“Last summer I went on a trip where I encountered two priests, a skateboarder and an alcoholic.”

This time, that little comma, that wonderful little comma, changes everything. With it you have a clear and concise list of four people. Without it the sentence implies that one priest was a skateboarder while the other was a drunk. Not only is this misleading, but without an oxford comma this sentence just killed two people. The skateboard probably had a family, and the alcoholic might have been in the program, but we will never know because they have been "erased.. from history!" (said in my best Christopher Lloyd voice)

Our forefathers understood that some sentences might not need the extra comma, but many do. Since authors could unintentionally confuse their readers it was decided that all lists must use an Oxford comma. This is for the protection of your readers, and potentially your eternal soul.

You may be asking, “Why would anyone try to get rid of such an easy to use and all around wonderful mark of punctuation?” Well here is the dirty little answer: Most people don’t want it to go anywhere! Here is a list of people supporting its use, all claiming it is essential to avoiding confusion:

Team Oxford Comma: Harvard Press, The United States Government, Oxford Press, The American Medical Association, The Chicago Style Guide, The Council of Scientific Editors, the American Psychological Association, a majority of college writing handbooks, and most respectable publishers.

So who is causing all this commotion?  The Associated Press, of course. Now I understand their point. Newspapers and magazines have limited space so every little mark they can remove helps. Because of this the AP doesn't use Oxford commas unless they have to. The AP does however recognize that Oxford commas have their place! (According to the 2010 AP style guide you should avoid using the comma and save space unless the sentence requires it for clarity.)

Bottom line, don’t believe the lies! Unless you are writing for a newspaper or some other form of limited space publication, you should use an Oxford comma. Imagine how this sentence could have been had our old friend the Oxford comma not been there to save the day:

“Juan accepted the award and immediately thanked his parents, Rachel, and Jehovah God Almighty.”